READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
