they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
