I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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