it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
