Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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