plz talk dirty to me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
