Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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