She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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