Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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