We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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