Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
