he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
