woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
