R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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