You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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