school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
