hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
