They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
