Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
