He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
two words: eviction party
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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