That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
