I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
