Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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