Dual....:-)
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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