I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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