actually, I'm a sock model
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
