my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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