i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
