Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were trust falling into bushes
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
