i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I could fuck to npr.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
