just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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