In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
