My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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