This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize