You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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