Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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