Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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