I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
