i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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