yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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