i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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