Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
