I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
third nipple confirmed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
