I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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