think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
