i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
