Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He better not be in your backpack
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
