i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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