i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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