Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
